You Don't Know What It's Like
by Sylyne D. Anhem
Summary: R-breakup, Usagi starts dating and Mamoru doesn't take it too kindly.


Alright, my first attempt at the R breakup situation (+ semi-sonfic).   
Wish me luck! (btw, I changed Usagi to 16 because, come on, fourteen? :\  
And Mamoru's like, 20? That's not just illegal, it's perverted.) Oy vey,   
this is a bit more explicit than I usually write, and I know I said I was  
gonna update on What A Night, but I'm just so confused and in the midst of  
midterms and concert plans... and I love this song. aiya... At any rate,   
Sailor Moon is not mine, nor is "You Don't Know What It's Like", sung by  
Econoline Crush. You should all dl it, it's awesome. Plus the story would  
have a lot more mood if you listen to that while you read this.  
  
  
  
You Don't Know What It's Like  
  
  
Usagi smiled up at Tinanu as they wandered lazily down the street. Reaching  
out, he took her hand, and glowed with affection. Mamoru had never taken her  
hand, it had always been a possessive arm over the shoulder, the occasional   
arm-in-arm, informal, friendly movements. Holding hands was so... intimate.   
  
It had been six months since Mamoru had broken up with her and four months  
since she had given up on him, stopped the seemingly endless need to beg for  
his love. It was still there, like a dulled ache within her chest, one that  
sharpened when she saw him and deepened when she saw his arm around one of   
the beautiful models he worked with.  
  
He'd returned to modelling, Usagi had learned through her friends. It was   
apparently better-paying than the job at the computer software company, and   
the flexible hours made going to school simpler. He had abandoned the beloved  
and besotted green jacket for sleek Armani suits.   
  
But that was none of her business now, and Tinanu looked down at her curiously,  
wondering about her silent, pensive form. She glanced up at him and gently  
turned the corners of her lips up comfortingly, squeezing his hand.  
  
Tinanu was the first boy who had interested her since Mamoru. Well, really  
she should call him a man. At eighteen, Tinanu was in his first year of   
university, a psychology major, minoring in anthropology. They'd met the way  
she met most people - a collision on the street. But, unlike her barborous  
fights with Mamoru, Tinanu had apologized and been taken in by Usagi's   
congenial voice. Curly dark blonde hair and green eyes, he was her ex's   
opposite, only five inches taller than her. They'd gone to a nearby cafe  
for a lunch and been "running into each other" ever since.  
  
And now she was taking him to the arcade.  
  
  
Did it get easier?  
Did all those things you wanted come together in the end?  
(Oh yeah)  
  
  
Mamoru grinned wickedly at Kurima, the tall brunette he was dating this week.  
The lack of Usagi's sunshine, her goodness, shining on him, had allowed him  
to revert to the cruel self-pity he had lived in before, and he rejoiced in   
it. The models flocked to him, his dark personality, looks, and money   
appealing to their shallow wants.  
  
And Usagi, who he had given up for a stupid dream, remained under his watch,   
as he watched her out of the corner of his eye as Mamoru, dove to save her  
as the dashing Tuxedo Mask, and stared through her bedroom window, absorbing  
her loveliness as she slept, leaving tall willowy redheads and bronze-haired  
goddesses in his bed. They were shallow bitches, and he used them to pull   
his thoughts (weakness) away from Usagi.  
  
He heard the door open and, sensing her presence while maintaining a facade   
of nonchalance, he glanced over his shoulders to see Usagi leaning into the  
embrace of some *kid*. Kurima's blue-green eyes flashed with annoyance at   
this diversion of attention, and she ran her palm over his rough, stubbled  
cheek, but to no avail. His eyes were aqua flares fixated on the couple.  
  
  
Was I the one?  
Was I even there?  
Did you ever really notice how I never really cared?  
(Oh yeah)  
  
She smiled and looked at me and said....  
  
All her promises of undying love that he had torn apart... who had she been   
kidding? Well, it didn't matter. Mamoru would dispose of this little...  
interjection... His gaze returned to Kurima, and he pulled her tight to him,  
into a heated kiss. Seconds later, he let go, throwing a glance over his   
shoulder to see Usagi's wounded face, lips mouthing words he could barely  
comprehend...  
  
You don't know what it's like  
You don't know what it's like  
I feel like nothing at all  
You don't know what it's like  
  
  
He glared at her, wanting to scream at her, yell words that needed to be   
said, his thoughts, and a sense of betrayal the burrowed deep in his stomach.  
But then, Usagi didn't know she was betraying him. She thought he had given   
up on her love. Their love. Mamoru filled with hatred towards the little   
bastard touching his Usako. She might not think he still wanted her, but  
she was his, whether she knew it or not. And if he couldn't hold her in his  
arms, touch her, kiss her, sure as hell, no little casanova fuckface could.  
  
Did you forget?  
Did you believe in it?  
Did all those things I promised come out empty in the end?  
  
(Oh yeah)  
  
And the regrets...  
And the dreams you missed...  
Comfort comes with patience, Serenity yeah yeah.  
  
She smiled and looked at me and said.....  
  
You don't know what it's like  
You don't know what it's like  
I feel like nothing at all  
You don't know what it's like  
  
Usagi stared at Mamoru, embracing a tall, leggy brunette. She'd seen the   
plethora of women he had carried on his arms, and had noticed not one had   
had blonde hair past her shoulders. Short, efficient caps of golden hair,   
chin-length white curls, but nothing that resembled Usagi's lengths of  
silvery-blonde locks.  
  
Few had blue eyes. There'd been green, grey, brown, violet, and the   
occasional navy. No sky blue to mimic her own. Even with Tinanu here,   
to murmur endearments into her ear and talk blithely as she had once done,  
she felt small and unattractive, in comparison to Mamoru's entourage of   
statuesque models.  
  
I feel insignificant...  
I feel nothing at all  
I feel insignificant...  
  
Did you give up  
Did it get easier  
Every little word that lingers slipped and fell.  
  
  
"Usagi? Did you hear what I said?" Titanu reached across the table in   
their booth and stroked her hand.  
"Oh, I'm sorry Ti-chan... I must've zoned out for a moment," she beamed  
at him, winning his forgiveness in a second.  
"I was saying I'd go get us a shake to split."  
Usagi melted. "How romantic, Titanu!" 'Or cheap,' her mind muttered.  
"Chocolate, right?"  
"Absolutely," he grinned down at her, warmly.  
"I'm just going to head to the washroom while you get the shake, okay,   
Titanu?"   
"I'll count the moments while we're apart."   
Alright, now that was pushing it a little.  
  
Mamoru touched Kurima's chin, tipping her face up to look at him as she   
giggled vapidly. Truly, all she had was looks. And a good thing too, she  
barely had the brains for modeling. But he became distracted, when who should  
pass behind her but Usagi's little man.  
"Kurima. I have to go make a call. Be back in a second." he stated,   
cooly and firmly, despite her pouting.  
"Alright darling," she purred, giving him a squeeze before he escaped  
her grips. As he stepped away, she promptly turned to smile at the   
attractive man sitting two seats away who had not escaped her eyes.  
  
Heading for the booth Usagi had been seated in, Mamoru noted her walking   
away, toward the private staff washroom. Motoki had granted both permission  
to use it at any time, and he rejoiced at how useful it would become.   
Stalking behind her, he caught the bathroom door just as she was shutting it  
and allowed himself entrance.  
  
Usagi, whose hands had shifted her blue skirt slightly lower already, gasped  
and whirled around in shock, and then, fear. Fear brought on by the  
predatory look in her ex's eyes. Her lips parted to blurt out an objection  
but she was cut off at he slammed her petite body against the wall. He  
ravished her mouth, tongue perusing every crevice. Grinding his hips against  
her own, one hand slipped beneath her shirt to massage the soft skin there,  
the other pushed beneath her skirt. Usagi succumbed to her instincts and   
arched her back as Mamoru's mouth roughly kissed her throat, his hands  
stroking her thigh and stomach. His groin hardened at her soft body pressed   
against his own, and on that point, he pulled away. Pressing a kiss against   
Usagi's earlobe, he whispered, "Go back to him. Kiss him, and remember this."  
  
He vacated the washroom and left a trembling Usagi to mull over his words.  
  
  
  
  
Well... there it is... REVIEW.  
  
  
  
  
§ylyne.  
silvery_sylyne@hotmail.com 


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